This post is kinda a back-to-front way of saying, “I’ve resigned from my role in the church”. Maybe someday, I’ll write a longer blog post about it.
During worship today at church, we sang the song “Running”—and that’s the first time I felt truly liberated after the decision to resign.
My heart was heavy before that—as I struggled to let go of my dreams, ambitions, plans…I still care loads for Communications (my ministry in the church), the purpose of church communications, and the church.
But, I felt that it’s time for me to let someone else lead the function.
I was carrying that heaviness around for weeks after I’ve resigned, not to mention—the prolonged period of consideration (two years plus to be exact)—to finalise my decision to leave the role.
The two months before my decision was the most intense. I felt like my head is gonna explode from all that thinking, seeking, and asking. I just don’t wanna make the wrong move if God still wants me to remain in that role.
It.was.hard.—that’s an understatement.
But today during the worship—the words from the song spoke to me.
And I felt free.
“Ready at the line looking out
Looking out to all that’s ahead
Letting go of every mistake
Throwing off the chains of restraint”
I felt in tune with God.
“We are running
Chasing after all that You are”
It reminded me of a recent sermon I’ve heard, “Running with horses and chasing the lion”.
I felt excitement and hope!
“And all that will remain
A passion for Your name
Burning as we run this race
We’re never gonna stop”
I felt that God is telling me, there is more.
This chapter in my full-time ministry is ending, but soon another will begin.
I’m waiting in anticipation.