I’m introspecting on this massive irony of why we want to go to Heaven, knowing that all pain and suffering will end…yet, we don’t want to die.
We want to preserve our lives on earth. Preserve it for…?
If I think back to my late parents, they suffered and died of cancer—I would think it’s a relief that they no longer have to suffer from their illness.
More importantly, they no longer have to go through suffering on earth, and because of what Christ had done on the cross—there’s reconciliation with God.
Why did Jesus sacrifice and die on the Cross?
At the resurrection, we’ll have bodies that won’t decay.
No more sin.
No more physical and emotional pain.
No more physical and emotional suffering.
But a loving, eternal and perfect relationship with God.
Paradise.
Heaven!
So, I’m joyful that my father and mother are in a better place. ‘Better’ is such an understatement in this case.
Yet, I miss my mum terribly. I wish she’s alive here. More years on earth…
…for what?
In a few years, she would need to be the caregiver to her husband. She would witness her husband who she adores— wither and die of cancer, leaving her alone.
More years on earth. More pain.
I vividly remember her suffering from cancer. The agonising pain. How her robust body shrunk to nothingness. Her skin hangs from her skeletal frame. Unable to eat nor do anything. I remember seeing the patients in the cancer ward—bald, pale, skinny, frail.
My heart bled. My head spun. I don’t understand this.
Why Lord? Why can’t their sufferings be shorter?
Why don’t we want to die, when Heaven is a much better place?
Is it because we carnally cling to what’s earthly?
Is it because while we are spiritual beings, we are still in an earthly body? Hence our instinct is to protect our flesh?
Is it because we have so many things we want to do, dreams yet to be fulfilled—we want more time to tick them off our list?
Is it because we don’t understand the concept of time from God’s perspective?
Is it because we can’t grasp the fact that our days on earth are numbered?
Is it because we have loved ones, and we don’t want to be separated from them? Alas! The day would definitely come. The question is, would we meet again and where?
We pray and plead for God to heal our loved ones. But one day, they too will die.
Death is unavoidable. So, why do we want to prolong what is inevitable?
If Heaven is a much better place—where there’s no more pain and suffering, why wouldn’t we want that something better to happen sooner?
For death to come later would mean going through heartaches and pain. Why on earth, would we logically want that in their lives?
Would our reasons be…selfish?
Or, is it because of the instinct of love ingrained in us by our Creator God—that we don’t want to be separated in a loving relationship?
Our original programming is of wanting to be together with God. And never be separated from His love.
God is love. He knows love is awesome.
(The word ‘awesome’ used here is not the casual way of how we use it nowadays. Fried chicken is awesome, the holiday is awesome. No. Its meaning is pure. Awe. Majestic. Godly.)
He created us to have a loving (eternal) relationship with Him. We weren’t meant to be separated from Him.
But when sin entered man, we were separated from the eternal relationship with God.
What’s left is a void, an emptiness of human beings. Not knowing in us, we’ll always yearn for connections and relationships.
And so instinctively, we don’t want to be separated from the person we love.
So, would that mean that while we are mortals on earth—we’ll always have this paradox of wanting Heaven for us and our loved ones, but not wanting to die?
Heaven and Earth were once fully united
Excerpt from the video:
The union of Heaven and Earth is what the story of the Bible is all about, how they were once fully united, and then driven apart, and about how God is bringing them back together again.
Perhaps that makes some sense to me. Of wanting my husband to be with me till we are old and grey, even though there may be suffering ahead in life. Let’s get crinkly together, my love!
Perhaps I can make peace with that. To accept because of how we were created by God, we will always have the instinct of love, and the pain of separation.
While I’ll persist and pray for the healing of his cancer, I’ll claim my peace in having the most significant promise—when it’s our time to go, Heaven is waiting with a place for us.
Thus, the need to learn to trust God knows what is best, and when the time comes—pray for the peace to let go.