Coping with grief,  Poetry,  Stories

Respirator (poetry)

I wrote this during one difficult night praying to be able to go to sleep as I need to drive a 4 hours journey back to Penang.
I really felt like this- on a respirator, keeping me alive with precious oxygen. And I can hear my breathing.

As I lay on my bed trying to sleep,
Watching the clock ticking by,
I realized that its getting harder and harder,
to quiet the cries I have inside.

Knowing that I can lose my mom at anytime,
With many things that I’ve yet to do for her in her lifetime,
cuts me with despair;
as I lay defeated,
similiar to a fish gasping for air.

An image of myself down on the ground I see,
and the only thing that’s helping me breathe;
Is The Word of God,
the Holy Spirit,
my Father,
my Lord,
my Jesus-
the Holy Trinity.

He is the respirator coursing through my veins
keeping my spirits alive
in a steady hum
and with assuring beats,
breathing life into me.

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