Perhaps I’ve never taken the time needed to grieve properly. Is there a proper way to grieve?
Life is so busy that we can’t afford to fully grieve.
EVEN GRIEVING IS SOMETHING THAT I CAN ONLY DO WHEN I HAVE THE TIME.
Find a weekend to grieve. Find an hour on Monday to grief. But there are always things to do, dinners to attend, ministries to serve in, a certain pattern of daily life to live so that the families living under the same roof won’t be affected by my sadness too much; smiles to put on…
Is it a luxury, an indulgence to just want to be alone, not having to go to office, not having to worry about work that depends on you to complete, not having to tend to husband and daughter, not having to be careful of being nice to them because really, I just don’t want to answer you right now… to just grieve.
What if I just want to cry the whole day? Write the whole day? Pray for the whole day? Be alone the whole week? What if I just need to do what I need to do fully grieve?
At the back of my mind, I would think, well, it’s too late now. Too much at stake with your work. Who would be able to do them??
Who would do the news? Who would update the site?? Who would coordinate whatever it takes to keep things moving??
Back to the same thing. Even to grieve, it seems that I need to carve out time to do that.