It’s Chinese New Year,
A first without mom,
Didn’t know that it’ll be that weird,
To celebrate and laugh while my heart still hurts.
I’ve been thinking of her,
Her roaring laughter still ringing in my ears,
I can see her pottering in the kitchen,
Dishing out my favorite dishes that she knows I love.
These I have no more,
And it’s the heartache that’s left to endure.
Oh how we boast about our future,
When nothing on earth is secure.
I keep my eyes on Jesus,
When all is too much to bear,
Lay my weary head on Him,
To Him I try to cast my cares.
I know mom is in heaven,
A place she can call home for eternity,
No more awful earthly suffering,
For this I’m thankful for His mercy.
But to this I am but a human,
Of flesh and blood I’m made,
And till I return to dust and back to Him,
I guess this hurts and pain will never really fade away?
– February 12, 2013