Coping with grief,  Stories

My mom through my eyes

This is the eulogy I’ve written for my mum who went home to the Lord after a 14 months battle with cancer.

As a single-parent child, not a single day my mum has ever let me felt deprived of love and even material things.


My mum always wants to protect me even to her last days. Even through cancer.

Whisker the cat I rescued
I rescued a kitty from a drain when I was a child and brought it back home.
But eventually, my mum took Whisker the cat away and replaced it with 2 goldfish! I only know why much later, that it’s because my mum said Whiskers always makes a hissing noise and seems wild; my mum fears that Whiskers will scratch me.

The separation from my late father
Though her heart was bleeding, she protected me from the trials of her separation from my late father.

I don’t know if it’s right or wrong. But she chose to keep me away from being torn and confused about shuttling between both parents, so I never get to see my late father until his last days suffering from cancer.


Our sole breadwinner
She gave up her youth and became the sole breadwinner at 16 years old for five siblings with no parents; took care of my aunts and uncles. And some years later, taking care of me too.

My mum sacrificed… a lot.

She did everything to give us food & shelter
She worked too briefly after giving birth to me.
When she was a teenager, she will bring my aunt to the cinema, sit her there to watch the movie, while she washes the cinema toilet before the screening.

Gave up a would-be husband
I remember she had a boyfriend who was very kind. He wanted to marry my mum and take care of the two of us. But he can’t provide for her siblings.
So my mum said no. It’s all or nothing.
She gave up her second chance of being cared and provided for by a loving man to protect all of us.

To provide for all of us, she has to take on undesirable jobs. And also, being outstation and away from me.

To this, she always regretted not being with me during my formative years. I don’t get to stay together with my mother until I was 12.

She is ever smiling
Despite all these, I never, ever hear a word of complaint from my mum. No grudges, no resentment. Just a lot of love and laughter.
She protects me from those hurts as much as she can.

She is my mama bear; I am always her baby bear.

My Christ-like mummy
Perhaps she didn’t realise it—but she has touched so many people’s hearts.
People love her because she first loves.

She was already Christ-like long before she became a Christian.

When I told a bellboy from the hospital that my mum had passed away, he looked into my eyes in shock. What surprises me was he shed tears.
My mum’s love stretches to even a bellboy that many people would ignore.

Even through her sufferings; she did not stop giving.

My love for mi
I must say the years are too short a time for me to be with my mi. I cried, I want my mummy back, I want my mummy back.

Everywhere I turn, I see her, I smell her, but I can no longer hug her. However I know and I’m assured because of Jesus, she is celebrating in heaven now. That’s a reason for me to rejoice.

Mi, one day, we will meet again in heaven, I can confidently say ‘I could sing of your love forever’ because we have an eternity to be together.

I like to end this by sharing what I whispered in her ear during the last moments when she can’t respond to me—

Mummy, I love you forever, thank you for everything, we are all in good hands, Jesus loves you.

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