So a colleague and I chatted over coffee about le daughter, but another topic popped out instead—he said, by me saying that ‘I compartmentalised whatever I’m going through in order to focus on doing my work’; I may be emotionally unhealthy.
I looked back at my life and I did detect a pattern—I will force myself to function when all I wanna do is to crawl into a hole and break apart.
Another pattern is—a lot of going through struggles on my own not knowing who to turn to, apart from God.
I’ve been fed this principle of ‘always go to God first before you go to others’.
Let God work it through. Don’t wanna be this emo person sucking out time & energy from people.
I did that when my mom died from cancer, I did that when my heart was shredded into pieces by le daughter, I did that when life gets really crappy.
What disturbed me about being emotionally screwed is that I’m going through it without realising. And that it is hindering me from being spiritually mature.
So I wonder, is that where all the anger, irritability, and sarcasm is coming from?
What I do know is, I sometimes have this feelings that I will brush aside as being irrational. Anyway! My colleague gave me this set of materials to help me. Well, I’m gonna go through the workbook for the next eight weeks and see how it goes.