I wrote this during one difficult night praying to be able to go to sleep as I need to drive a 4 hours journey back to Penang.
I really felt like this- on a respirator, keeping me alive with precious oxygen. And I can hear my breathing.
As I lay on my bed trying to sleep,
Watching the clock ticking by,
I realized that its getting harder and harder,
to quiet the cries I have inside.
Knowing that I can lose my mom at anytime,
With many things that I’ve yet to do for her in her lifetime,
cuts me with despair;
as I lay defeated,
similiar to a fish gasping for air.
An image of myself down on the ground I see,
and the only thing that’s helping me breathe;
Is The Word of God,
the Holy Spirit,
the Holy Trinity.
He is the respirator coursing through my veins
keeping my spirits alive
in a steady hum
and with assuring beats,
breathing life into me.
A loving sis in Christ bless this book to me.
An intro to the book :
Get ready. You will soon discover that the time you spend with God can redeem the time you thought you needed to accomplish all that must be done
I’m super excited already!
Because ‘pursuit’ by itself means you are holding tight to the reins instead of letting go… to Him.
As I’m parched and thirsty to find rest amidst this hurried world, I shall then ‘pursue’ to understand what does Sabbath truly means. And not focus to desperately cling to DO the ‘actions’ of what I half know Sabbath is.
I found this article and found some strong aha here for me. I just absolutely love being in Christ as I relearn about life. (Rather, had I ever learn it prior to knowing Him?)
Excerpts from the article
So then, there remains a sabbath rest for the people of God [it is available to us now]; for whoever enters God’s rest also ceases from his labors as God did from his. (Hebrews 4:9-10)
God knew that this would be our problem. He understands us. Nothing is hidden from him; he knows exactly the way we operate. Therefore he has designed an adequate provision for our weakness, teaching us how to operate on an entirely different basis, to no longer look to oneself but to look to the one who dwells within; to expect him to do something through you, using your mind, your will, your emotions, your feelings, but it is he who does the work. But unless you begin to count on his working you will never experience it.
Right here comes the seventh factor, the one serious problem which remains. Christians say again and again, Why is this so difficult to do? Why do I have so much trouble? Why is it that Hebrews 4:11 goes on to say,
“Let us therefore strive to enter that rest, that no one fall by the same sort of disobedience.”
Why must we work at this?
Some seem able to learn it, and from time to time we see someone virtually come alive and their Christian life is simply transformed by learning to operate on this principle.
They lose their egotism, as extroverts; or they lose their introverted feeling of self-consciousness. They begin to do things and to enjoy them, experiencing the blessing and excitement of Christian living.
“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30)
Back in the days of the old West the oxen teams that came across the prairies were yoked together with a great, wooden yoke, made to fit over the necks of two oxen. A yoke is always made for two, never for one. Jesus was a carpenter, and in the carpenter shop in Nazareth he often made yokes. From this he draws this very apt simile.
“Enter into the yoke with me,” he says, “you on one side; I on the other.”
When you enter into the yoke with Jesus Christ you give up the right to determine what your life may be. You expect him to direct you.
“Except a corn of wheat fall into the ground and die, it abides alone; but if it die, it brings forth much fruit.” (John 12:24 KJV)
The reason why you cannot enter into the joy and glory and excitement of the rest which God has provided in ceasing from your own activities and resting upon his, is because, in some way or another, you are protecting some area of the ego, the self-life, saying, “This is mine; keep your hands off.” As long as you do that you cannot have rest.
Rest is the secret of human fruitfulness. As you consent to this, a wonderful thing will begin to happen. You will find rest. Jesus said you would
If you are as hungry and straining to learn about Sabbath- rest, read more here
I shall continue my wonderful journey too.
I finally realized why.
Its self reliance. Its relying on self strength, self belief… And self LIMITATIONS.
One crucial ingredient is missing in any thousand dollars seminar of any sort- Trust, Surrender, Obey. Ok, that’s 3 ingredients.
And I’ve paid thousand of dollars. It worked for awhile, but it was not life-changing. It didn’t work because it’s not ‘changing from inside out’, it’s not ‘leading from inside out’.
And to whom, to what, do you Trust, Surrender, Obey to but God?
Would you surrender to anyone smaller than God?
As my lifestyle becomes increasingly hectic according to normal definition – shuttling between two cities weekly to give support to mom on her cancer healing, building Coconect, my own family… Wanted to just vegetate inside the house this weekend.
I decided to give my daughter and her sleep-over friend a treat by taking them down to our pool. That, and I’m spending time anyway to read my bible. Kill two birds with one stone. It will be a nice change of environment.
With coffee in the flask, my iPhone- TuneIn radio and Joy.fm on, the pace slows down.
Time and again I find that when I stop pushing so hard, and quiet down to saturate myself in God’s words, songs, Spirit… Answers came to me, I see the problem with a different perspective.
And it’s always exciting and very, very relieving to stop pushing but instead go to the center of the storm and find peace, go with the wave and leverage with its force to nudge me forward.
I probably won’t be totally ‘cured’ from falling into the worldly trap of wanting to grab the control on my own, but I strongly know that I’m getting better with my Father patiently molding me.
I’m thankful that He asked me to slow down so that I can move faster.
The Christian life is very much counter-intuitive. We can choose to live by His Words or by this world and it’s worldly ways.