The battle with anger is on.

Diary entry: The only hope in this post is my hope in the Lord who will work His way in me, turning this angry tyrant into a mature person. Sigh.


Off! Flew the chopsticks; as I demonstrated my anger vividly.

Such a tyrant-like behaviour from me. Over petty matters. Really stupid matters.

Fall.
Fallen.
Fell.

I have no idea where was my PAUSE button. Where IS.
Is it something that God will change in a snap of His finger?
Or, do I have to work HARD at it?
How can I do so when I can’t see the PAUSE button?

I tried.

I read Bible verses about anger. Cringing in shame when it pointed out the fools who were ruled by their anger outburst and careless words.
I’m that fool.

I read ways of communicating my displeasure—none of which that involves the throwing of chopsticks, raising of voice, nor cussing.

But still.

I let it get to me.
I let it.

Like an itch I must scratch.
I let that anger escape loudly.

The only thing is, instead of a soothing aahh when an itch was scratched and therefore relieved—nothing is soothing about sinning in anger.

Nothing.

It vomits and splatters on everyone in its path.
Messy.
Ugly.
Smelly.
All over the place, uncontained.

Lord, Lord, what is to become of me?

 

anger

Struggling with anger and sadness.

Major drama—This is how I feel in my head.

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But, life must go on. This is how I need to exhibit self-control in front of people, especially at work.

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While I’m struggling with these, I struggle with God.

In your anger, do not sin. Let go, let God.

These rage, these sense of injustice, these wanting to burst into tears in public, these loneliness of not knowing who to talk to, who can I trust not to judge? And this thought of I should first deal with this with God, and not run to other people. But, I’m having trouble keeping calm and acting as normal as possible. It’s like this darkness trying to fill up the white space, and it feels good to let it be. Yet, I know I must stand guard and not let the Devil have a foothold of my weakness.

Dear Lord, help.

Don’t be easily offended

Good sense makes a man restrain his anger, and it is his glory to overlook a transgression or an offense’ (v.11, AMP).

Lord, forgive me when I am too easily offended. Thank you that, through the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, you overlook my offences. Help me through that same power to overlook the offences of others.

Source: http://www.bibleinoneyear.org/bioy/commentary/2253