Struggles of being a control-freak

It’s a pain to learn how to place Him in the center of my life in e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g.

Take my Monday offdays. It’s an indication of a trap I placed myself in in my life. I flipped restlessly between wanting to do nothing, or to just focus on 1 thing for that day and wanting to tick off things to do.

Exercise- check

Driving daughter to school- check

Grocery- check

Errands- check

Quiet time with God- check

When sometimes all I desire to do in my heart is to spend the entire day with Him. Or, spend the entire day just reading.

But sometimes, circumstances dictates that I do have to tick off those to-dos. Now what?

My husband had learnt the wise way of being thankful even when he is tired. That has helped him to focus away from the ‘chores’. And focus on Him.

Something that I struggled daily.

Stupidly, the more anxious I am flip-flopping between the two, the more time I’ve wasted.

Dear God,

I’m angry at myself for the stupidity and absurd way of managing things in my life. For someone who’s logical, I am certainly not handling things in a logical manner.

Even if the most logical thing is to center back to You. Because I know You will set things right.

It’s driving me nuts.

Lord, can You show me why do I punish myself this way when You offered a much peaceful way to live my life? (and I know about it but stupidly allow myself in the anxious trap).

“Because you are a control-freak” Says God/my mind.

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