My announcement to selected friends and family

21.7.2011 my SMS
Dear bro&sis, just want2 share that I’ve ‘officially’ accepted Christ yesterday.Had it in my heart for few mths,just didn’t act on it.Lookin fw2 a new journey.

🙂 Burden lifted. Heart lighter. There’s Someone to share my worries, I’m not alone fighting anymore.

Sms 1- Oh ya, actually I plan to ‘officiate’ it during the last Alpha graduation dinner…but I missed it. Well, not too late:). Tx for all ur help and patience.

Dear sis in Christ PTL! we rejoice w U .Meanwhile will find a sis/class to follow up for u as u start yr new exciting life in Christ .God bless

1st day of accepting Christ

20.4.2011
I’ve accepted Christ!
1st prayer-
Dear God,
Pls help and guide me. I surrender (!) *myself to You.
Pls fill me with love, pls fill me with so much love that it overflows and I can give love even to people I don’t like, like my father in law.
Pls bless me with forgiveness for people who wronged me for I need to forgive and let go.
Amen.

And oh, pls tolong don’t test me anymore. Pls just fill me with a lot a lot of love to give. Tq. Amen.

*my little voice’s eyes popped out when my heart says I surrender. Me? Surrender???It says.
Yes, I surrender- so says my heart.

3 sms & a funeral

June 15th- My biological dad passed away early this morning. I’m going back to Penang this afternoon…kinda blur in my head now.

That was my sms to 3 friends whom immediately came to my mind- Jen in Holland; Min in Kl and Kumar in Penang. (and forever with Coconect in my blood, the precious sms also goes to my team)

Now I’m back in Kl. It was certainly a heavy trip to say the very least. But with huge meanings.

I re-learnt the meaning of family, love, forgiveness, friendship, support, sacrifice…and that my late father also listens to The Carpenters like I do.

I’m very glad that everyone got together, after so many years. I’m happy to see my Ah Kong, Ah Ma, aunts, cousins & mummy sitting together…didn’t know my family is so big! For all my life, I’m the only ‘Yeoh’.

June 16th After an overseas call from dear Jen:

Appreciate your call. I’m ok. Kinda weird coz things r surreal, not logical, suddenly all families bk 2gether. So sudden. He is well loved by all his siblings. My aunts r loving ppl. We look alike!I’m glad we had the chance2 meet last mth when we knew abt the illness. I hug him4 de 1st time, didn’t know its the last.

That’s life. You won’t know when it will be the last chance. So for what’s its worth, I’m doing all I can to be a better person, and let go. Let go of so many bondages that’s weighing me down in other areas of my life. The ‘should’, the ‘must’, the quest to be right…It ain’t gonna be easy, for Miss Control Freak to make like a jello and go with the flow, but I’m going to do what I can.

June 17th Have u ever attended funeral with alchohol? I just had. 1st & last cheers of beer with my father. Finally started2 break me. But I held on. I hope 2mrw is not tough.

Now, I know where I got my beer genes from. (Sure, blame it on a dead person). What nearly breaks me that night was the realization that we never sat down to clink our beer mugs together, and I’m doing it on the eve of his cremation.

I wept silent tears as my head was bowed going through the prayers, drops after drops after drops.

Although kinda confused, there was a sense of peace though sadness when I sat through the prayers for him, lead the procession, and watched as his coffin was wheeled into the cremation area and the metal door slides down. I knew this was his worldly body, and his soul had left, set free.

He’s in a better place, no more sufferings. And though we didn’t have the chance to spend time together in this world, we have an eternity in heaven.

Happy Father’s Day to my late Father- Robert Yeoh.

Man In The Mirror

This tune kept running in my mind for past one week. And especially today.

If You Wanna Make The World
A Better Place
Take A Look At Yourself, And
Then Make A Change

Nothing can be more profound that this. Be it to be the first one to smile, when the others are frowning; Be it to give, when you don’t think you have enough to give; to love, when there’s no guarantee to be loved back; be it to be open, when you feel vulnerable.

We are all children of the world. Make That Change.

Man In The Mirror (complete with the ows, oohs, crotch grabbing and what have you-s)

I’m Gonna Make A Change,
For Once In My Life
It’s Gonna Feel Real Good,
Gonna Make A Difference
Gonna Make It Right . . .

As I, Turn Up The Collar On My
Favourite Winter Coat
This Wind Is Blowin’ My Mind
I See The Kids In The Street,
With Not Enough To Eat
Who Am I, To Be Blind?
Pretending Not To See
Their Needs
A Summer’s Disregard,
A Broken Bottle Top
And A One Man’s Soul
They Follow Each Other On
The Wind Ya’ Know
‘Cause They Got Nowhere
To Go
That’s Why I Want You To
Know

I’m Starting With The Man In
The Mirror
I’m Asking Him To Change
His Ways
And No Message Could Have
Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World
A Better Place
(If You Wanna Make The
World A Better Place)
Take A Look At Yourself, And
Then Make A Change
(Take A Look At Yourself, And
Then Make A Change)
(Na Na Na, Na Na Na, Na Na,
Na Nah)

I’ve Been A Victim Of A Selfish
Kind Of Love
It’s Time That I Realize
That There Are Some With No
Home, Not A Nickel To Loan
Could It Be Really Me,
Pretending That They’re Not
Alone?

A Willow Deeply Scarred,
Somebody’s Broken Heart
And A Washed-Out Dream
(Washed-Out Dream)
They Follow The Pattern Of
The Wind, Ya’ See
Cause They Got No Place
To Be
That’s Why I’m Starting With
Me
(Starting With Me!)

I’m Starting With The Man In
The Mirror
(Ooh!)
I’m Asking Him To Change
His Ways
(Ooh!)
And No Message Could Have
Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World
A Better Place
(If You Wanna Make The
World A Better Place)
Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make A Change
(Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make A Change)

I’m Starting With The Man In
The Mirror
(Ooh!)
I’m Asking Him To Change His
Ways
(Change His Ways-Ooh!)
And No Message Could’ve
Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World
A Better Place
(If You Wanna Make The
World A Better Place)
Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make That . . .
(Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make That . . .)
Change!

I’m Starting With The Man In
The Mirror,
(Man In The Mirror-Oh
Yeah!)
I’m Asking Him To Change
His Ways
(Better Change!)
No Message Could Have
Been Any Clearer
(If You Wanna Make The
World A Better Place)
(Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make The Change)
(You Gotta Get It Right, While
You Got The Time)
(‘Cause When You Close Your
Heart)
You Can’t Close Your . . .Your
Mind!
(Then You Close Your . . .
Mind!)
That Man, That Man, That
Man, That Man
With That Man In The Mirror
(Man In The Mirror, Oh Yeah!)
That Man, That Man, That Man
I’m Asking Him To Change
His Ways
(Better Change!)
You Know . . .That Man
No Message Could Have
Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World
A Better Place
(If You Wanna Make The
World A Better Place)
Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make A Change
(Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make A Change)
Hoo! Hoo! Hoo! Hoo! Hoo!
Na Na Na, Na Na Na, Na Na,
Na Nah
(Oh Yeah!)
Gonna Feel Real Good Now!
Yeah Yeah! Yeah Yeah!
Yeah Yeah!
Na Na Na, Na Na Na, Na Na,
Na Nah
(Ooooh . . .)
Oh No, No No . . .
I’m Gonna Make A Change
It’s Gonna Feel Real Good!
Come On!
(Change . . .)
Just Lift Yourself
You Know
You’ve Got To Stop It.
Yourself!
(Yeah!-Make That Change!)
I’ve Got To Make That Change,
Today!
Hoo!
(Man In The Mirror)
You Got To
You Got To Not Let Yourself . . .
Brother . . .
Hoo!
(Yeah!-Make That Change!)
You Know-I’ve Got To Get
That Man, That Man . . .
(Man In The Mirror)
You’ve Got To
You’ve Got To Move! Come
On! Come On!
You Got To . . .
Stand Up! Stand Up!
Stand Up!
(Yeah-Make That Change)
Stand Up And Lift
Yourself, Now!
(Man In The Mirror)
Hoo! Hoo! Hoo!
Aaow!
(Yeah-Make That Change)
Gonna Make That Change . . .
Come On!
(Man In The Mirror)
You Know It!
You Know It!
You Know It!
You Know . . .
(Change . . .)
Make That Change.