Discovering my life verse in the Bible

As I retired to bed, I just felt like wanting to read the Bible. So, I took my physical Bible. And not knowing what to read, I asked a simple question, ‘God, what should I read?’ Immediately I heard an answer. A book which begins with an ‘E’. So, I thought, Ephesians? Then it doesn’t feel like that’s the one. Ecclesiastes? Could be!

I quickly thumbed through the introduction of that book. Eugene Peterson brilliantly wrote the intro. And I knew this is what God wants me to read.

As I hungrily complete the last chapter—I came to the final word of that book, which is:

Fear God. Obey His commands.

Or, in the Message version:
Fear God. Do what he tells you.

I like the AMP version, though. Ecclesiastes 12:13

It gives clarity to the phrase ‘fear God’. It removes the unhealthy connotation which may be attached to the word, ‘fear’.

Worship Him. Show profound adoring awed respect. Wow.
Knowing that He is Almighty God. Therefore WORTHY to be worshiped in this manner. Wow.


Next, keep His Commandments.
Gulp.

Now, I know of the Ten Commandments in the Old Testament of the Bible. But I also know of the Great Commandment, which to me, is the mother or rather father of all commandments. This is it.

To quote Matthew 22:35-40 AMP from the Bible:

One of them, a lawyer [an expert in Mosaic Law], asked Jesus a question, to test Him: “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”
And Jesus replied to him, “ ‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment.
The second is like it, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself [that is, unselfishly (adjective) seek (verb) the best or higher good for others].’
The whole Law and the [writings of the] Prophets depend on these two commandments.”

To fear God (out of reverence for who He is), to obey His commands to love Him with all my heart, soul, and mind, and to love others as myself…

BAM! I think I’ve found my life verse.


Further references on the Great Commandment from Wikipedia

God’s perfect timing to the start of my inner healing journey.

Let go, let God

Weird how an ugly haircut triggered a series of events…

I wanted to save money on a haircut, so I did something completely out of character. Instead of going to my trusted hairdresser, I took a risk and went to trim my hair at an express hair cut outlet. I walked out looking like I’m about to go to prison. I dread having to face people. #vain

That brought to the surface (weirdly)—years of gunk which I haven’t dealt with but need to.

So, I Whatsapp my pastor and told him these three things:

  1. I’m drained physically and mentally.
  2. I’m furious, cynical, bitter, and resentful. I want to get out from this prison—I don’t know how.
  3. Yes. I still can do my work. But I need space and flexibility to work from home. To sort things out away from the routine of forcing myself to go into the office—and face the increased toil of ‘behaving’ in public when instead, I felt like crashing.

My pastor without further questioning said yes, please go ahead. He understood my situation. #grateful

So I did the responsible thing and informed my team about the temporary plan that I will be in and out of the office more often. I didn’t dive into details. I think they sorta know I’m going through sh*t.


Today, I packed my laptop and stepped out of the office. Felt blur and directionless. Although I wasn’t leaving the office permanently, I felt sad. I asked, now what? I don’t know how to move forward. I don’t have any planned counselling.

There’s a ministering course which I wanted to go to receive inner healing for all these knots and mess, which I’ve been trying so hard to untangle but failed. The course, however, was fully booked until November. I questioned myself, how the heck am I going to get some handles to sort things out; now that I have carved the time to do so.

I started to doubt whether this new routine is worth to do, coz it’s more comfortable to go back to the old routine and plough through work and life. Like I always do.

But I have a hunch that—I can’t go on like this. I need to create space in my life. Space to do what, though, I don’t know. So, I took steps to do so, without knowing what’s next.

Then. In a matter of a few hours, I received news that one person pulled out of the ministering course, and I have the spot, would I want to join? Would I want to join?? Would I want to eat ice-cream on a blistering, hot day? I signed up immediately.

I don’t have to wait until November, coz God knows…(Yeah, He knows!) I only have to wait 1.5 days for the 2-day course to commence.


I don’t know what will happen during or after the ministering course. Would I be in so much emotional pain that I’ll feel like dying? I have been avoiding facing the pains full-on as I’m not sure that I can take it. What would I unearth?

What I do know is—God’s timing. It’s perfect, just like Him—He orchestrated my stepping away from the office and into this (scary) journey. And He loves me so, warts and all. He will walk me through this.

And these are all I need to know for now.⁠⁠⁠⁠

What am I allowing the thief to rob and destroy in my life?

The thief comes to steal and kill and destroy.

John 10:10

What am I allowing the thief to rob and destroy in my life?

• Peace – My anxiousness in wanting to get an unreasonable amount of things done within one day.

• Joy – Taking things for granted by sometimes by forgetting that EVERYTHING can be taken away. God gives, and He can take away.

• Relationships – I think this is the devil’s forte for me. I sin through my blindness in failing to see how Jesus sees other rather-difficult-to-be-liked people.

You don’t need to be perfect to be useful to God

A water-bearer in India had two large pots, both hung on the ends of a pole, which he carried across his neck. One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water. At the end of the long walk from the stream to the house, the cracked pot always arrived half full.

The poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do. After two years of what it perceived to be a bitter failure, it spoke to the water-bearer one day by the stream:

‘I am ashamed of myself, and I want to apologise to you. I have been able to deliver only half my load because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your house. Because of my flaws, you have to do all of this work, and you don’t get full value from your efforts.’

The bearer said to the pot, ‘Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of the path, but not on the other pot’s side? That’s because I have always known about your flaw, and I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you’ve watered them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table. Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house.’

Thankfully, God uses cracked pots! You do not need to be perfect for God to use you. http://www.bibleinoneyear.org/bioy/commentary/2164 #BiOY