Face buried in hands, stressed out, anxiety over time lost from supposedly 10mins washing the dishes that turns out to be a 45mins job plus other tasks.

Self: Oh God, oh God, what do you want me to do…
God: Get an hourly maid to come in for an hour every morning.
Self: OMG!!
God: Yeah, I know.

My announcement to selected friends and family

21.7.2011 my SMS
Dear bro&sis, just want2 share that I’ve ‘officially’ accepted Christ yesterday.Had it in my heart for few mths,just didn’t act on it.Lookin fw2 a new journey.

🙂 Burden lifted. Heart lighter. There’s Someone to share my worries, I’m not alone fighting anymore.

Sms 1- Oh ya, actually I plan to ‘officiate’ it during the last Alpha graduation dinner…but I missed it. Well, not too late:). Tx for all ur help and patience.

Dear sis in Christ PTL! we rejoice w U .Meanwhile will find a sis/class to follow up for u as u start yr new exciting life in Christ .God bless

1st day of accepting Christ

20.4.2011
I’ve accepted Christ!
1st prayer-
Dear God,
Pls help and guide me. I surrender (!) *myself to You.
Pls fill me with love, pls fill me with so much love that it overflows and I can give love even to people I don’t like, like my father in law.
Pls bless me with forgiveness for people who wronged me for I need to forgive and let go.
Amen.

And oh, pls tolong don’t test me anymore. Pls just fill me with a lot a lot of love to give. Tq. Amen.

*my little voice’s eyes popped out when my heart says I surrender. Me? Surrender???It says.
Yes, I surrender- so says my heart.

3 sms & a funeral

June 15th- My biological dad passed away early this morning. I’m going back to Penang this afternoon…kinda blur in my head now.

That was my sms to 3 friends whom immediately came to my mind- Jen in Holland; Min in Kl and Kumar in Penang. (and forever with Coconect in my blood, the precious sms also goes to my team)

Now I’m back in Kl. It was certainly a heavy trip to say the very least. But with huge meanings.

I re-learnt the meaning of family, love, forgiveness, friendship, support, sacrifice…and that my late father also listens to The Carpenters like I do.

I’m very glad that everyone got together, after so many years. I’m happy to see my Ah Kong, Ah Ma, aunts, cousins & mummy sitting together…didn’t know my family is so big! For all my life, I’m the only ‘Yeoh’.

June 16th After an overseas call from dear Jen:

Appreciate your call. I’m ok. Kinda weird coz things r surreal, not logical, suddenly all families bk 2gether. So sudden. He is well loved by all his siblings. My aunts r loving ppl. We look alike!I’m glad we had the chance2 meet last mth when we knew abt the illness. I hug him4 de 1st time, didn’t know its the last.

That’s life. You won’t know when it will be the last chance. So for what’s its worth, I’m doing all I can to be a better person, and let go. Let go of so many bondages that’s weighing me down in other areas of my life. The ‘should’, the ‘must’, the quest to be right…It ain’t gonna be easy, for Miss Control Freak to make like a jello and go with the flow, but I’m going to do what I can.

June 17th Have u ever attended funeral with alchohol? I just had. 1st & last cheers of beer with my father. Finally started2 break me. But I held on. I hope 2mrw is not tough.

Now, I know where I got my beer genes from. (Sure, blame it on a dead person). What nearly breaks me that night was the realization that we never sat down to clink our beer mugs together, and I’m doing it on the eve of his cremation.

I wept silent tears as my head was bowed going through the prayers, drops after drops after drops.

Although kinda confused, there was a sense of peace though sadness when I sat through the prayers for him, lead the procession, and watched as his coffin was wheeled into the cremation area and the metal door slides down. I knew this was his worldly body, and his soul had left, set free.

He’s in a better place, no more sufferings. And though we didn’t have the chance to spend time together in this world, we have an eternity in heaven.

Happy Father’s Day to my late Father- Robert Yeoh.