Lying on the sofa, one leg crossed, one hand holding a drink, the other- Delivering Happiness book by Tony Hsieh. Same pose as when I was in kindergarten, I recalled my senior aunt told me , that’s how I drank from my milk bottle after school. Erm, I guess only now, the difference is there’s a beer mug in my hand?

Re-reading the book, flipping thru the pages. Never fails to amaze me, this guy & his entrepreneur craziness/brilliantness. It makes me feel less alone in this journey, and reminds me of the joy of building & growing a business that you believe in. Ah, the freedom of being able to paint on a blank canvas giving it life, pumps me up with energy & makes my eyes twinkle! (Erm erm, I supposed this is how some women with urge to have a very heavy tiny human growing in her womb feels? I can only guess).

Beer + a very good inspiring book, best combi in the absence of good friends around.

One day, I will visit Zappos.com in Las Vegas and meet Tony.

I reckon my blog could win ‘The most visually boring blog’ award coz I’m really too darn lazy to search for pictures to spice up my entry. Actually acting upon the crazy little voices in my head and writing them down is already a huge leap for me.

Today, today. As I was sitting on the living room floor, lights dimmed, beer chilling (er, is it human, can beer be chilling?!) in the fridge, listening to Leslie Cheung (yes, cannot meh); I stretched my old woman’s aching back. From a cross legged sitting position, stretch upper back down with arms in front reaching the floor. (No, I’m not teaching yoga). As my hands touched the floor, I gave my lower back a deeper stretch, and instinctively closed my eyes to enjoy the stretch, ugh. But, lo & behold,  Melinda surprised Melinda when her eyes starts to shut tightly, a gush of tears were fighting to escape!

Taken aback, I sprang up blinking, what the hell was that?? I took a few deep breath to calm down. And again, the darn floodgates tried to prise open and let the weird tears gush out. I’m like going m*ther f***er!- as how I always am when I’m threaten, yes, that’s how grown up I am. What the @#^% was that Mel??

It’s a combi of business worries, work backlog, my yet to be successful planning & gift hunt for darling hubby’s birthday this Thursday (I’m so dead), and to top it off- found out daughter is telling her persistent lies about her school work again & again & again, angelic face & all but telling you lies without blinking her eyes. All rolled into a day, compounded from days, weeks, months.

Sometimes I think, damn it! I have to learn to step up, and not let things get out of perspective that much. If not, what am I, a rag doll easily flung with the slightest movement??

You think you are ok, then you are not. Then you are, then you are not again. I guess that’s (business) life & life. Only pig headed me forgot about nature’s logic, and kept fighting against it.

Well, it’s still some journey till I live up to my self-given warrior name – The Wind. (from one of the best seminar I’ve attended that opened my eyes to life & soul).  That name came to me as I want to be that, as gentle as I want to be and flow with it or as powerful as I want to be and make things happen.

Till then, there’s always my perfectly chilled Anchor in the fridge waiting for me. Perfect companion to loneliness. Ahhh…

My business partner told me today:

You must sometimes learn how to ‘clock out’ like an employee after work. Else, you’ll go crazy. One day when you snapped, it’s not going to be good.

As much as I eat, live, breathe Coconect, I am beginning to think this is a logical way to stay sane. Or at least, well rested enough to go for the long haul. Coz business IS the long haul. And it needs energy (DUH!). If I wound myself up too tightly to the point I am having much difficulty to sleep at night, sooner or later, something’s gotta give.

So, I will practice saying- See you later, alligator!

Dear editor,

This is the 1st time I’m writing in. Although I am a fan of Weekender, I never took the effort to write in & comment on the contents & articles. But thumbs up for them! Thank you for being my nice quiet Saturday morning read.

This morning when I saw the headline of this movie review, Eat, Patronize, Leave; I told myself, I knew it, as I have not much faith on movies based on books. In most cases, the movies does injustice to the book. For how can one possiblyexpress everything from a 444 pages book into a movie.

As I continued to read the review, I felt my blood starting to boil.

Now, here’s a ‘film critic’ who had crossed the line from sticking to her job, to trying to be a critic of other people’s life. (or book)

In the review, she had made biased comments on Elizabeth Gilbert’s life. Painted a completely wrong picture of the whole thing.

Best-selling chick lit? Which with rare exceptions (Bridget Jones’ Diary) are always horrendous.

This is a non-fiction book based on Liz Gilbert’s story.

...she dumps everything (except money, because what is an adventure without loads of cash?)

She lost her possessions to her ex-husband.

Goes on a ROMP?! in 3 totally exotic (wince here)…

She was suffering from severe depression for years. On the verge of suicide. So sue her if she finally pick herself up, and have the courage to search for herself & heal. And sue her for being lucky to finally got some money back in the form of an advance from her publisher.

I’ve read the book from cover to cover, several times since 2008 way before all the hoo-ha of this book when overboard. Without watching the movie, I can have a safe bet that the storyline of this movie is probably off tangent. Sigh.

I have yet to watch the movie, and even before so I don’t have any high hopes for it. Especially when I saw the preview, and see how skinny (still) is Julia Roberts in India & Bali. That was after her carb- eating spree in Italy. In the book & actual life, she put on weight. In the movie, instead of sacrificing her looks and putting on weight to play the role correctly, she stays reed thin. Warning # 1.

In the preview, I saw many colorful scenes where Julia Roberts is seen gallivanting away, almost like any happy holiday maker. Warning # 2. I wonder if the director actually steered the storyline in the right direction. In parts of the book, there were many dark moments where Elizabeth Gilbert was suffering, her mental struggles, and her weird conversation with God.

But really, despite the movie, what the film critic painted of who Elizabeth Gilbert is- selfish; is totally off & uncalled for. I could sense a strong feel of cynicism, jealousy, envy & self-denial turning this review into a heady cocktail of toxic spewing criticism.

Question, did the ‘film critic’ actually read the book throughly?

Question, judging from how the review was written, it seemed to be more of biased critic on Julia Roberts’ work, and the direction of this movie. But why condemn the book? Is it part of a ‘movie’ review?

Last question to ponder, has the world gone so cynical & cold that heaven forbid any one to dare step up and admit their internal struggles? And gosh, try to heal the wounds and find peace & happiness? You can’t love yourself, that is so selfish! Oh no, you want to find peace in you & happiness? And WHAT? You can afford to ‘romp’ in 3 totally exotic countries to do that?? Why, you selfish b*itch. How could you just think of yourself, you egoist vocal warm-up: me me me ME me me!

In this world we are living, in doing that risks facing a furious backlash of being labelled ‘self-indulgent’, ‘silly’, ‘selfish’. Sorry Elizabeth Gilbert, for baring your soul & letting it be ripped apart.

(Oh, sorry for the movie (and the reviews) too).

Mel

For me, I think, above all, if it’s no longer fun being in the business, then nothing else matters. Not money.

I became an entrepreneur eventually in my ripe old age of the 30s. And little did I know, the glove fits so darn well. I guess I throughly enjoyed it because I love creating, and being able to have things on my term (Hah!). I love being able to extend my belief & personality to the brand, and to the culture rather than say, playing to a culture of company that I don’t like, just to play along and keep my job.

I love the feeling of excitement, and the sparkle in my eye when I talked about aspects of my business, when I have meetings with my team, talking about how we can serve our customers better, how else can we meet their needs.

I love it when people say they love us.

I love being able to wear jeans to a meeting if I want to, oh how I love not having to act ‘corporat-y’! I love dreaming up crazy ideas and getting all excited about them, and seeing them being executed.

I guess above all, if you are happy, and having fun in your business, it will make a lot of things easier. Like when your 3rd party developer decided to abandon your project after you paid him; and that is like 3 weeks before your slated launch date;  like when your ex-copywriter is actually a persistent liar coining up excuses of not meeting deadlines, like when companies you seek partnership with ignores you…If you are passionate about the business, you will bounce back fast, and work on finding the solutions.

Yes really, if you are no longer having fun in your business, I suppose, what’s the point?

After a late nite out celebrating my bday, woke up groggy & super lazy, not the best feelings. Just wanna laze around, and vegetate, but don’t think it will help much. Will it make it worse?

That’s why I’m sitting in the balcony writing this (in? on? My grammar is beyond hope).

Sometimes too much technology and I dunno which to choose. Upload photos in Picasa and post on Fb, edit, share…? Blogs r also becoming something not of a habit nowadays.

I think, yes, Fb has made all of us much lazier person. Y blog when u can post status under a minute? Hm.

Well, here’s a picture of my breakfast anyway, for no related reason. Haha, that explain the lame state my brain is in now. Hm

……..Y no picture? Coz WordPress decided to go wonky on me again, damn it.

June 15th- My biological dad passed away early this morning. I’m going back to Penang this afternoon…kinda blur in my head now.

That was my sms to 3 friends whom immediately came to my mind- Jen in Holland; Min in Kl and Kumar in Penang.  (and forever with Coconect in my blood, the precious sms also goes to my team)

Now I’m back in Kl. It was certainly a heavy trip to say the very least. But with huge meanings.

I re-learnt the meaning of family, love, forgiveness, friendship, support, sacrifice…and that my late father also listens to The Carpenters like I do.

I’m very glad that everyone got together, after so many years.  I’m happy to see my Ah Kong, Ah Ma, aunts, cousins & mummy sitting together…didn’t know my family is so big! For all my life, I’m the only ‘Yeoh’.

June 16th After an overseas call from dear Jen:

Appreciate your call. I’m ok. Kinda weird coz things r surreal, not logical, suddenly all families bk 2gether. So sudden. He is well loved by all his siblings. My aunts r loving ppl. We look alike!I’m glad we had the chance2 meet last mth when we knew abt the illness. I hug him4 de 1st time, didn’t know its the last.

That’s life. You won’t know when it will be the last chance. So for what’s its worth, I’m doing all I can to be a better person, and let go. Let go of so many bondages that’s weighing me down in other areas of my life. The ‘should’, the ‘must’, the quest to be right…It ain’t gonna be easy, for Miss Control Freak to make like a jello and go with the flow, but I’m going to do what I can.

June 17th Have u ever attended funeral with alchohol? I just had. 1st & last cheers of beer with my father. Finally started2 break me. But I held on. I hope 2mrw is not tough.

Now, I know where I got my beer genes from. (Sure, blame it on a dead person). What nearly breaks me that night was the realization that we never sat down to clink our beer mugs together, and I’m doing it on the eve of his cremation.

I wept silent tears as my head was bowed going through the prayers, drops after drops after drops.

Although kinda confused, there was a sense of peace though sadness when I sat through the prayers for him, lead the procession, and watched as his coffin was wheeled into the cremation area and the metal door slides down. I  knew this was his worldly body, and his soul had left, set free.

He’s in a better place, no more sufferings. And though we didn’t have the chance to spend time together in this world, we have an eternity in heaven.

Happy Father’s Day to my late Father- Robert Yeoh.

Suddenly my eyes teared up (right spelling?) when I read this article, 1st from The Star. Then, obviously I get all googley and search them out.

The joy of back to basics!

Yes, I admit- the city life had taken something away from me, and I do from time to time yearned for a much simpler life with less ugly human beings. (Mel-the-jaded- talking)

But for now, for a start! Order their farmed-with-love produce, at least I can have my chicken & eat it now! Been abstaining from chicken as much as possible as felt very icky putting hormoned crap in my body. (Beer is still good though, ahahahaha).

No, you may not order an organic dog! :P

Hmm…I thank God for the opportunity I have in Coconect, for it’s a business that I am developing in line with my dreams that I can operate a business I love from almost anywhere when it’s up & running. Hurray for internet! I love my work, man, I love it!

What a blast!

Unexpected long weekend turned fab & FUNtastic! A much needed change after lonnnnnnnnng period of blahness (yes, even with the business high), kept forgetting that my SOUL is bitching about me ignoring her. No wonder the pesky black moods, the restlessness!

1st up, Friday!

1st purchase, tasted blood :P... ON with my spree!!

Since my allocated budget doesn’t allow any last minute short get away, I did the next best thing- attempt to see if shopping will be the therapy. Heck, I need to SPEND my allocated Play $ ok! (to those who’s curious, it’s my money management system which works excellently well, I get to not only save, but invest and PLAY as well)

On impulse, I remembered my wanting to buy Swatch courtesy of their latest ad in The Sun- so damn colourful! And yes, I’m a sucker for ads. Ditto for Mcd breakfast & coffee ad. Works for me baby, works for me.

(Don’t ask me how I got insane, and dare ventured into Mad Valley on a public holiday, seriously)

Amongst others…3 tops, 2 nail polish, eye masks…

Then, impromptu meet up with long time gal pal for a pint (HAH! A pint?!). It was an emo ride that night coz 3 of us, Min, Jen, Mel used to be so happy together (cue: music) till Jen uprooted herself from Msia. We missed each other so much. Seriously, I’m thinking how on earth, and where the heck can I find such gal pals that can drink as much as i can (no, that’s not right)…where the heck to find gal pals that knows each other as we have. (cue: emo tears coming up!)

Sat nite- tonight’s gonna be a good night.

Let’s get ready with a mani & pedi…

Diy mani pedi fun bling bling for a fun nite out!

Then, a mmmmmmassage.

Finally after the dinosaur age, I dragged my sorry ass to get myself an overdue massage. A solid 2 hours of massage with one hour solely focusing on my battered neck & shoulders. So gooooooood.

All set for a hot night!

Date with darling & a certain hot Jap!

We love this place! Love it!

Forgotten the name- but yes, they serve sake! Hooray!

A happy cat!

Er…after more drinks at Changkat. Yes, it’s a must have, Ramly/ Otai after drinking session, best combo ever! (That explains why I don’t go crazy and drink regularly, please calculate how many hours I have to work out to burn those buggers off!)

Round it all up Sunday!

Well rested and with loads of happy energy to boot, I went around ‘prettying’ up our home.

Bought outside our fav veg indian shop Chat Masala in Brickfields

Planned my work for next week. And will attempt my very first home made fruit mask! (No, that photo is the one u won’t c)

Think some of it will be achieved sooner :P

Oh, even made my bday wish-comes true note well in advance (Ok, ok, it’s my to do reminder la)

I’m one well rested, happy cat ready to face the week again with gusto, yes I am, wheee!

19.5.2010 8.10am Wed

If u have been wondering like I do, why on earth this bloody blog doesn’t have any pictures, videos, well…one day, WordPress decided to somehow screw with this non tech knowledge gal and won’t let me upload any photos at all.

I have been wanting to get it fix- ie: Pass it to Jen- my more tech friend.

Have the ‘privilege’ of sending 3 kids to school today. (Hubby/driver not feeling well).We do the car-pool thing with our neighbor  to <ohhhhhhh> (do the God-like sound here) save the environment…but I suspect hidden somewhere, is actually to save our sanity coz we get to take turns sending the kids instead of the daily madness. Yay! I don’t know the joy of polluting the environment with one kid in the car, and braving the daily traffic every single day. I really don’t know, you tell me.

So, yeah, I woke up half an hour ish earlier, didn’t kill me. In fact, felt damn good. (The quietness after the kids have been dropped off that is).

Presented with sudden extra time on my hands, I’m like a kid in a candy store! So many things, which one? Which one?

Should I write? Should I Fb (er). Should I go out for a long, lazy breakfast (my fav!!)…should I start work earlier? (Yes, even that is an option). My gym routine today will be in the evening rather than morning…so gym is out.

So, now I’m going with the flow and write, I mean typing down my ramblings in the morning. Treating my poor neglected soul squashed aside with increasing To-dos.

Looking forward to a productive day at Coconect. Missing a bit of fun last week.

Would be nicer if i can post up some photos though!