“I’d kill to have a security device at home so I can know what my maid is doing at home with my kids.”- a friend said.

And I thought, what a sad world we are living in nowadays.

I yearn to have kids roam free, running from one neighbors house to another, their pet dog running with them.

Neighbors who actually knows each other’s name (at least I got that base covered at home)

Blue skies, not grey smog.

People actually have the brain & consideration not to double park and let you wait for 20 mins, without even an apology. Bangsar- check, Taman Desa- check, Damansara- check…actually the whole of Klang Valley, Penang, etc- check.

Fresh, natural food  is not a luxury, look at all the ‘organic’ shops around, look at the price tags.

Junk food manufacturer (and I’m not only talking about potato chips, but even ‘nutritious’ drinks fortified with WTF for smarter kids) admits that they are producing crap. Hey! I’m all for eating processed potato chips if I want to. Just don’t sugar coat things.

Emails, missed calls, sms are replied. Where’s the courtesy?

If it’s a no entry/one way on that road or in your condo car park, please- can you look up dictionary the meaning of One way/NO entry?

Days when people have the principle not to take short cuts that endanger, inconvenient others- just so they have their own little convenience.

People talk, as in talk, face to face, flesh to flesh (er, i think that’s another thing all together ) to each other.

A Twitter, sms or two is fine. But don’t Twitter, sms non stop when you are catching up with friends or anyone for that matter. What?! Their company is not enough for you?

Religions that unite, not divide.

Reality shows that’s beautiful, not perverted, ugly, shallow.

….the freedom to enjoy a beer or two, and the luxury of having just short of a handful of like minded friends to enjoy it with.

Completely broke down & cried.

Our Version 1 was almost completed, just final touches to improve the user interface. Dunno why, now it’s screwed up.

Had an online disagreement with business partner over her complaints of my ‘never-ending’ list on the completion of Version 1, that was already a great start to my Saturday working day.

Now, staring at the site, with all the carts f*cked up; when last night, I was beaming & excited and eagerly awaiting it to be completed.
Even got a customer who’s waiting to go online and order his one year cards from us tonight.

At this point, I dunno whether to continue pushing on to work on my today’s priority- Plan & action steps for next phase. (Great, since the site is f up, we are back to phase 1)
Or shall I continue to get beaten down and cry.

Cross between feeling like a victim/cry/curse/angry/fight/standing firm.

Your soul will provide you with many opportunities to fall into your heart. And when you do, you will feel more elevated.

The more you fall into your heart the more you rise above the non-important material considerations of day to day life and the more you fulfill your fundamental reason for…

being here.

- Neale Donald Walsch

While flipping through a fashion mag just now, a thought crossed my mind.

Hmm…maybe it’s time I start getting facials. To many, this will draw a huh? What do ya mean? You never got one done before?

Well, yes. And I’m kinda weirdly proud that this face is still kept relatively well (ahem!) without a salon facial which I’ve been religiously keeping myself away from. Oh hell ya, I’m damn scared of these establishments pushing packages & god damn it expensive products to you.

But I think the recent reunion of my secondary school with the gals revealed that I may be probably the last female species who hasn’t let a ‘beautician’ touch her face. A facial virgin, you might say.

And erm, I kinda feel, is there anything I’m missing?

Hell, maybe it’s the not so funny laugh lines that I’ve noticed getting deeper, and the forehead frown lines (courtesy of Coconect) which got me frowning more…

But I definitely think that vanity is catching up with my age…or is it the other way around?…

I am preparing our team members’ appointment letters, contracts, etc. And I am reading samples of actual appointment letters as a reference for me to draft them (boo hoo, where’s my HR manager?)…No wonder loads of people hate their work. Look at the appointment letters…are the management hiring a robot or slave??!!! JEEZ!!!!!

It all started out nice & polite:

‘We have pleasure in offering….

Then, it spiral downwards…

The Company may at its discretion extend the probationary period by another three (3) months.

You are advised that as a condition of your employment with the Company, you are liable to be transferred to work in any location, section, department, division, subsidiary, country or Line of Business at the absolute discretion of the Company. (If hell has a valid address, you bet we have the absolute discretion to send you there too!)

Should you be found to be medically unfit, your service shall be liable to be terminated. (translated- if you are dying, please don’t bother us)

Followed by MORE discretion..

An employee at the discretion of the Company….

But, they do end the slave contract with an encouraging ending though:

We take this opportunity to welcome you aboard and wish you a successful career with the Company. (Evil smile)

I am offended to read this letter, don’t see traces of humanity here…but ahh…you say, ‘Mel, just you wait till you deal with eeeeevvvvvil employees, then you will see why you need Evil Appointment Letter Writing Skill 101′…

Sigh…I mean, c’mon, is this it? Resorting to cold, technical jargons so that you can whip people into submission?!!

I went beyond beer…and bought these

Coz beer is my happy food (Yes food, never heard of liquid diet?) But these! These are a sign that I’m heading towards evil-dom.

I only bought chips for my own consumption, let’s see…less than 6 times in my entire life.

P/S: Pringles product review: Unless I have really gone insane, but the chips are much much smaller now. Yes, the size has shrunk. Maybe overall diameter shrunk by 20%. Even the chips are pathetic to match my mood.

P/P/S: Till my next upbeat-y, happy, motivational-ty post, I am officially calling it a day off for happy mood. Now, let me just work in silence.

One half of Coconect head has finally gone back to Europe.

Here I am, in between busyness, work-as-usual day… feeling pang of loss that co-founder Jen has literally ‘went Holland’…and frankly speaking, I am really sad.

This had happened before, and now it is really happening for good for a long time.

I am feeling sad because,

Over the last few months, well more like a year, we had worked together, pitched & won Pre-Seed funding, interviewed, hired, disagree, agree, brainstorm(ed), burnout, laughed hysterically, hugged, drank beer after beer sometimes cursing over our insane stress but more often than not, enjoying our sadistic journey of entrepreneurship, completed proposals that secured projects & orders, lend each other an ear & shoulder during hardship in personal life, cried (more like me), really go out of the way to help each other as how true friends do, croak during karaoke sessions, ate many good food, talked about our dreams and spur each other on…

and really just being a real friend to each other, no ifs or buts.

Over the past 1 year, (though we had known each other for more than 12 years), we had become not only great business partner but great friend. A real gem in this world.

But on the other hand, I am really glad & happy that I,

Had the chance to appreciate true friendship, chance to get to know another gung ho, passionate individual who is absolutely crazy in going after her dreams, have a friend who can understand each other’s ‘Impossible in Nothing’ attitude yet still have room for each other to grow, make mistakes, complain (Yikes!) and forgive.

So, till we meet again in charming Netherlands or chaotic Malaysia, take good care my friend. And I’ll see you 9am SHARP (your time zone) online for our coconuty meetings.

Back from my 1st holiday ever in 2009, woohooo! Phuket, Kantary Bay, I love ya!

Worked for 2 days, then Hari Raya holidays, sheesh. Not that I don’t wanna work, but loads of kids around to entertain (myself included, LOL!)

Today, forced myself to wake up at a decent hour, gosh, and resume routine.

Only routine was heavily interrupted by mundane household chores, SHITES!

So, as of now, I am not in the best gung-ho mood, rather panicky. Man, this Coconect Version 1 Beta gotta get moving fast.

Back to work!

I was blessed with a complimentary ticket to Anthony Robbins, and I turned it down. Gave it to my hubby who was jumping up & down with joy. I mean, c’mon, this is Anthony Robbins, the man with 30 over years experience in meddling with people’s brain, and successfully done so!  (lol)

Was caught up with getting my website off the ground that I figure out I just couldn’t spare the time. Plus I thought I was already ok, and the need for a seminar is not urgent.

Well, true & false.

True- I am ok (Sheesh, after attending series & series of seminars this 2 years & mingling with like minded people, I better be)

False- There’s always time, and there’s always room for improvement. So, end of the day, instead of one, I was blessed with two tickets! Thus, a decision was made in a split second for both of us to go.

Hmm…so how should I share this? Truth is, it can’t be shared, it has to be experienced. A live concert is different from listening to Ipod, eh.

But, here’s bits & pieces of it…

The program is not about changing yourself, but rather about becoming yourself. I was once again transformed to a better version of myself.

This time round, I worked on conquering the 2 prisons that had trapped me-

1. My anger (phwoar!) Those who’s close to me will know (or got torched)

2. My health & energy

Stuff that just drained my energy, depriving me of living life to the fullest, working on my business, well, basically, crap.

Tony Robbins technique focused on rewiring the programming we had, the self limiting beliefs, and replacing it with new ones. Ya, a bit hocus pocus you might say? Well, he has worked with 1000 over suicidal case, and have not failed one. People with 15 years of smoking addiction quit within minutes…

Ahh!! I’ll spare the boring details, coz really, it has got to be experienced.

All in all, I had a blast! I haven’t heard so many F words in a seminar, a word that is close to my heart, lol.

I did the Firewalk after all. Yes, yes, walk on hot burning coals. Though I know it’s just a metaphor for a break thru, which I told myself I don’t really need it. But, they said, do it for a great bar story anyway. Well, that GOT me. And I DID IT! YES!!…and got blisters to show off now. Ahahahaha…

On Sunday night, we partied with water pistols & thumping music, I danced like mad (suspense eh, what the f*ck has this gotta do with a seminar?). And I couldn’t remember the last time I got so high sans alcohol. Now, I understand what’s a natural high, couldn’t stop laughing.

There were tears, there were heartaches, there were tears of joy, there were peace like I’ve never experienced before, there were new friendship born, and there are lifelong lessons that I will continue to apply & learn from this 4 days event.

So, if this is what a ‘motivational’ seminar is about, count me in. Count me in anytime.

“There is always room in your life for thinking bigger, pushing limits and imagining the impossible.”- Tony Robbins

This is insane.

In between working on my site since 10.30am, (Yes, it’s a 7 days working-week this 2 weeks) waiting for it to take more than 10 minutes to load PER minute changes…I had:

• Updated my blog TWICE
• Approve comments & replied
• Prepared lunch
• Had lunch
• Facebooked
• Sykped
• Drank coffee
• Did my budgeting
• Written my Will!!

I hereby grant myself the power to choose to STOP this insanity here and now. And give a call to my hairdresser or manicurist, focus on a single task- pampering myself, totally.

Happy Sunday, everyone!