A plot to distract my mission

In the middle of crying and looping down, thinking about mummy, my perceived failed relationship with my daughter, the strife and snide remarks from parents in law over the years, the injustice of them, just too much… I find myself drifting away and away from God…
I asked in my head, why? What do I have to do to get back to you God?
Why am I like this?
One word immediately came into my mind – disobedience.

I ignored it and continued to spiral down.
I cried out, mummy, take me with you…

I stopped short of that when that horrible thought came into my mind.

At once I recognized this!
It’s the devil scheme to distract me away from God.

Ever since I started serving full time in church, my once good relationship with my daughter started to strain. Everything she does hurts me. I chose not to love but harbor resentment. – Disobedient.

I chose not to forgive. – Disobedient.

Things started getting on my nerves more. – Disobedient.

I’m feeling less happier.

And now I know it’s the evil plot to pull me away from joy. Joy comes from God.
The evil plot to render me powerless. Focused on myself.

Dear Lord, thank you for giving me life.
Thank you for your power and wisdom.
Lord, shelter your lambs from the evil ones.
Let us place our eyes on You.
Amen.

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