Struggling with anger and sadness.

anger

Major drama—This is how I feel in my head.

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But, life must go on. This is how I need to exhibit self-control in front of people, especially at work.

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While I’m struggling with these, I struggle with God.

In your anger, do not sin. Let go, let God.

These rage, these sense of injustice, these wanting to burst into tears in public, these loneliness of not knowing who to talk to, who can I trust not to judge? And this thought of I should first deal with this with God, and not run to other people. But, I’m having trouble keeping calm and acting as normal as possible. It’s like this darkness trying to fill up the white space, and it feels good to let it be. Yet, I know I must stand guard and not let the Devil have a foothold of my weakness.

Dear Lord, help.

Best of my journal Mar – Sep 2016: At a personal retreat 6/6

“God, I’m here because I can’t do life without You, it’s too hard… it’s impossible.“

Background to this journal entry: I went on my first personal retreat earlier this year to carve the space for an uninterrupted time to reflect, and to seek God for directions in my life. I wanna be unstuck as I felt that I’ve reached a roadblock with ‘my progress in life.’

Best of my journal Mar – Sep 2016: At a personal retreat 5/6

“God, I’m here because I’m lost, utterly lost without You.”

Background to this journal entry: I went on my first personal retreat earlier this year to carve the space for an uninterrupted time to reflect, and to seek God for directions in my life. I wanna be unstuck as I felt that I’ve reached a roadblock with ‘my progress in life.’

Best of my journal Mar – Sep 2016: At a personal retreat 4/6

“God, I’m here because I want to go beyond loving what You have done in my life, and just love you dearly for who you are.”

Background to this journal entry: I went on my first personal retreat earlier this year to carve the space for an uninterrupted time to reflect, and to seek God for directions in my life. I wanna be unstuck as I felt that I’ve reached a roadblock with ‘my progress in life.’