Well, today is one of those days where fluffy clouds and rainbow collides into a colourful explosion. – my
“Wanting to control the outcome.”
BHAM! OMG! This just came into my mind. I now know my problem. Seriously. Thank You, Lord for telling me this!
Well, blimey. I found out that I’m STILL a control-freak after all. I thought I’m a reformed control-freak.
But nooo… I have no idea that after three years of being a Christian, and knowing all those let go, let God, I am still holding on tightly to the steering wheel. I thought I’ve let those go. I thought I’ve improved.
I want to control how my day goes. I want to control my to-dos. Heck, I even want to control how & when God responds to me when I do my quiet time with Him.
No wonder I drive myself nuts. Miss-I’ll-Google-it-and-I’ll-find-my-answers.
Good thing though. Coz after driving myself nuts over driving myself nuts, I Googled: ‘bible verses about relinquishing control to God.’
As I read the articles and identified myself with it, I buried my face in my hands, shaking my head in disbelief.
It’s like being whacked awake.
For some of you, the more out-of-control your life gets, the harder you try to control it.
The number one reason you’re under stress is because you’re in conflict with God.
I know this article is referring to the things we can’t control in life. But to me, I want to also relinquish control over the small things as these are those little buggers that makes me stressed out every day.
So, I’m thankful for this, also from Rick’s blog:
Millions of people pray the Serenity Prayer, which is based on the Lord’s Prayer, but most have never read the last eight lines to the prayer: “Living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time, accepting hardship as a pathway to peace, taking as Jesus did this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; trusting that you will make all things right if I surrender to your will so that I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with you forever in the next. Amen.”
That’s where the power is! There is power when you surrender to God the very things you’ve been trying to take control of from him.
I will say this prayer every day if I can. So, help me, Lord.
It’s a pain to learn how to place Him in the center of my life in e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g.
Take my Monday offdays. It’s an indication of a trap I placed myself in in my life. I flipped restlessly between wanting to do nothing, or to just focus on 1 thing for that day and wanting to tick off things to do.
Driving daughter to school- check
Quiet time with God- check
When sometimes all I desire to do in my heart is to spend the entire day with Him. Or, spend the entire day just reading.
But sometimes, circumstances dictates that I do have to tick off those to-dos. Now what?
My husband had learnt the wise way of being thankful even when he is tired. That has helped him to focus away from the ‘chores’. And focus on Him.
Something that I struggled daily.
Stupidly, the more anxious I am flip-flopping between the two, the more time I’ve wasted.
I’m angry at myself for the stupidity and absurd way of managing things in my life. For someone who’s logical, I am certainly not handling things in a logical manner.
Even if the most logical thing is to center back to You. Because I know You will set things right.
It’s driving me nuts.
Lord, can You show me why do I punish myself this way when You offered a much peaceful way to live my life? (and I know about it but stupidly allow myself in the anxious trap).
“Because you are a control-freak” Says God/my mind.