Rag doll in the wind-Delivering Happiness sequel

Lying on the sofa, one leg crossed, one hand holding a drink, the other- Delivering Happiness book by Tony Hsieh. Same pose as when I was in kindergarten, I recalled my senior aunt told me , that’s how I drank from my milk bottle after school. Erm, I guess only now, the difference is there’s a beer mug in my hand?
Re-reading the book, flipping thru the pages. Never fails to amaze me, this guy & his entrepreneur craziness/brilliantness. It makes me feel less alone in this journey, and reminds me of the joy of building & growing a business that you believe in. Ah, the freedom of being able to paint on a blank canvas giving it life, pumps me up with energy & makes my eyes twinkle! (Erm erm, I supposed this is how some women with urge to have a very heavy tiny human growing in her womb feels? I can only guess).

Beer + a very good inspiring book, best combi in the absence of good friends around.

One day, I will visit Zappos.com in Las Vegas and meet Tony.

Rag doll in the wind

I reckon my blog could win ‘The most visually boring blog’ award coz I’m really too darn lazy to search for pictures to spice up my entry. Actually acting upon the crazy little voices in my head and writing them down is already a huge leap for me.
Today, today. As I was sitting on the living room floor, lights dimmed, beer chilling (er, is it human, can beer be chilling?!) in the fridge, listening to Leslie Cheung (yes, cannot meh); I stretched my old woman’s aching back. From a cross legged sitting position, stretch upper back down with arms in front reaching the floor. (No, I’m not teaching yoga). As my hands touched the floor, I gave my lower back a deeper stretch, and instinctively closed my eyes to enjoy the stretch, ugh. But, lo & behold,  Melinda surprised Melinda when her eyes starts to shut tightly, a gush of tears were fighting to escape!

Taken aback, I sprang up blinking, what the hell was that?? I took a few deep breath to calm down. And again, the darn floodgates tried to prise open and let the weird tears gush out. I’m like going m*ther f***er!- as how I always am when I’m threaten, yes, that’s how grown up I am. What the @#^% was that Mel??

It’s a combi of business worries, work backlog, my yet to be successful planning & gift hunt for darling hubby’s birthday this Thursday (I’m so dead), and to top it off- found out daughter is telling her persistent lies about her school work again & again & again, angelic face & all but telling you lies without blinking her eyes. All rolled into a day, compounded from days, weeks, months.

Sometimes I think, damn it! I have to learn to step up, and not let things get out of perspective that much. If not, what am I, a rag doll easily flung with the slightest movement??

You think you are ok, then you are not. Then you are, then you are not again. I guess that’s (business) life & life. Only pig headed me forgot about nature’s logic, and kept fighting against it.

Well, it’s still some journey till I live up to my self-given warrior name – The Wind. (from one of the best seminar I’ve attended that opened my eyes to life & soul).  That name came to me as I want to be that, as gentle as I want to be and flow with it or as powerful as I want to be and make things happen.

Till then, there’s always my perfectly chilled Anchor in the fridge waiting for me. Perfect companion to loneliness. Ahhh…

See you tomorrow, boss

My business partner told me today:

You must sometimes learn how to ‘clock out’ like an employee after work. Else, you’ll go crazy. One day when you snapped, it’s not going to be good.

As much as I eat, live, breathe Coconect, I am beginning to think this is a logical way to stay sane. Or at least, well rested enough to go for the long haul. Coz business IS the long haul. And it needs energy (DUH!). If I wound myself up too tightly to the point I am having much difficulty to sleep at night, sooner or later, something’s gotta give.

So, I will practice saying- See you later, alligator!